What is midlife crisis for a woman? Many women experience certain symptoms around their mid-forty’s which are at times uncomfortable for them. You may experience feelings of fear and apprehension when you think that you are getting older. You may feel depressed and start thinking about the time that has passed and might even feel that you have wasted your life. You may have regrets about what you have done with your life – thinking that you have made wrong choices. Some women might start acting strangely, trying to fit in a lot of things before they ‘grow old’. It might also be evident in your dress and behaviour – dressing and acting as if you are twenty instead of forty something.

The Benefits of midlife:

- An advanced sense of the meaning of life

- A more effective integration of the disappointments and triumphs of life

- Creativity in mentoring and launching the subsequent generations

- Ability to face life and death

- Wisdom

This is also the time at which your children are preparing to leave or actually leaving home. Your role as a parent changes substantially from being needed to having very little to do for your children. If parenting has been an important part of your life, you might feel that you no longer have a role. This can leave you feeling empty and useless.

One of the difficulties of children becoming adults is that the bond you feel for your children does not decrease, but your ability to influence and control them, does. You will have to re-negotiate your role and involvement with your children who as young adults want less of your time and involvement.

If your children are involved in relationships with partners, you will be faced with a new set of social relationships. The boyfriends and girlfriends have their own social systems with whom you might need to interact. If your children have children, you have a new role as grandparents, which can be both enormously rewarding as well as frustrating.

This stage of life also involves changing roles at home and in your own social relationships. These relationships must now fulfil needs which might previously have not been recognized, or which were previously met by your children. You might have far more time on your hands and you will need to find ways to fill this time constructively.

Midlife is a time for finalizing your planning for old age. Not actually retiring, but planning financially and emotionally for the time when you no longer work.

There are physical changes to adjust to e.g. menopause. Changes in your physical functioning. You may have to confront ill health in yourself or your partner.

All these changes affect how you view yourself. You may perceive yourself as less worthwhile or lose confidence in your ability to cope with daily life. You may feel depressed and live in the past, dreaming of when you were young. You may not feel needed and generally sad and emotional. You may feel uncertain about yourself, your appearance, your sexuality and your attractiveness. You may be aware of changes in your sexual drives. You may feel disinterested in social contact.

This can be a painful time but this is a normal stage through which everyone must go to enable you to make the next stage of your life meaningful. You can look back on achievements and look forward to years that bring a wonderful variety of new experiences.

You can view your middle years as an adventure with new freedom to do what you really want to do.

1. Enrich your marriage which will give satisfaction and new excitement.
2. Learn to relate to your children as adults with new challenges and new experiences.
3. Concentrate on your social relationships and get more fulfilment and satisfaction from them.
4. Set new goals which will help you feel good about yourself.
5. Accept the changes.
6. Believe in your self and your ability to adjust.
7. Enjoy these years. Look forward not backwards.
8. Allow yourself to grow, try new things, develop new skills, study again, begin a new job.
9. Use your time constructively.
10. Value yourself – who you are, what you’ve achieved and where you’re going.
11. Have a medical check-up. Value and take care of your physical self.

If you are finding this time difficult and don’t feel as if you are getting the Support and encouragement you need from your family and friends, talk to a counsellor who can help you mobilise your resources and achieve a greater sense of equilibrium at this stage in your life.