Counselling
  Individuals
  Couples
  Families
  Groups
  Adolescent Groups
  Teenagers
 
Marriage
  Choosing a partner
  What is love
  Preparing for Marriage
  Bonding in Families
  Midlife Crisis - Men
  Midlife Crisis - Women
  Retirement and Marriage

Divorce counselling
  Marital Breakdown / Divorce
  Marital Disfunction
  Extra Marital Affairs
  Divorce : Emotional Aspects
  Divorce : Legal Aspects
  Life after Divorce
  Children and Divorce
  Divorce Mediation
  Custody Mediation
  Grief Counselling
  Trauma Counselling
  Personal Development

Conflict management
  Communication
  Resolving Conflict
  Abusive Relationships
  Stress Management

Parenting
  Parenting
  Becoming a Parent
  Remarried Families
  Step Parenting
    News



     Counselling - TEENAGERS - SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE

 
Teenagers are somewhere between the age of thirteen and nineteen. This period of one's life can be really exciting, challenging, full of discoveries about oneself and the world. It is also time filled with challenging and difficult changes. Changes in one’s body, one’s emotions, thoughts and beliefs, relationships with one’s parents and friends are all a normal part of this stage of growth, development and maturation. All these changes result from hormonal activations starting long before the teenage years.

Teenagers are somewhere in the middle: they are no longer children, and yet they have not quite reached adulthood. This period of one's life can be compared to walking over a bridge, where one has left the world of childhood and are crossing over into the world of adulthood.

These physical changes are seen from around the age of ten and continue until about nineteen or twenty when one has reached full physical maturity. In girls some of these changes include the beginning of menstruation, breast enlargement, broadening of the hips and under arm hair. In boys some of the changes that occur are muscle development, wet dreams, body and facial hair and deepening of the voice. Both boys and girls may get pimples on their face and/or back, which can be a little embarrassing at times, but this will pass.

Each of us develops at a different rate because of the uniqueness of every human being. However, too often teenagers go through stress, self-doubt and low self-esteem because of fears that they might not be “normal” and it is also common for the teenager to feel that their friends are changing at a faster or slower pace than them. Because everyone is unique in terms of genetic make-up and upbringing and also because everyone’s family history will have a different gene make up, everyone’s growth will be unique. What is important is that no matter how fast or slow one may seem to develop, everyone is developing at the right rate.


Teenagers may also feel that they have mood swings. Sometimes they are in a great mood; sometimes they feel down and depressed. This is also normal, and once again all part of adolescent development. With these emotional changes, one might also be experiencing problems of relationship adjustment with one’s family. One might feel the need to be with one's friends more, and at the same time be struggling with separating from one's parents. Adolescents need the freedom to develop into adults, and to develop their own sense of identity. The conflict between the adolescent and the family may often be caused due to this need for greater independence.

Part of the adolescent's need for self-identity is also in experimenting with changing values and beliefs. This may also create friction with the adolescent's family and perhaps even in the school. There is no doubt that the adolescent feels that friends and peer groups are highly important, sometimes it appears that they are more important than his/her own family. This is an important aspect of developing social acceptance and a sense of belonging. What parents often feel is rebellious behaviour, is often seen and felt to be part of the in thing for the teenager, and important part of the teenager’s life.

At FAMSA the counsellors are aware that the "somewhere in the middle" stage of life can be pretty difficult at times. Parents or young people feel that they need to speak to someone, confidential counselling is available.