"There are feelings of warmth and affection, a strong emotional attachment for another person. A feeling that the other person is important and that you care for and about them.

There is some commitment to the other person. This means that we reach out to the other person and that giving to the other is a pleasure, not a duty. Being committed means that we know that conflict, disagreement and arguments will not result in the relationship breaking up but that we will still love and accept each other.

Love requires some action and hard work. It means that we have to share our feelings and show our caring for the other person. We all show love in different ways, by actions and behaviours, by giving presents, or washing the dishes; by words - by listening and telling, or by touch - kissing, hugging or making love.

Love means we have to take risks and be courageous. There is always a danger of being rejected when we move close to another person or when we share our inner feelings and expose ourselves. We need to encourage the other to share as well and also to accept we can never know everything about them.

Love means that we have to accept the person for what they are - there are some things about them that will never change.

Love means that we are prepared to look at ourselves and our behaviour and to change what we can, if it is hurting the other.

Love means we can accept the other person's differences, respect their ideas, feelings and attitudes.
LOVE IS NOT
total agreement
total admiration and approval
instant understanding
letting someone use you
using someone for your own benefit.

It does not mean someone will rescue us from all our difficulties. Love does not mean that we can hold the other person responsible for our total happiness.

The strong physical attraction, the passion and intense feelings we have in new relationships may develop into something less passionate but just as exciting. As we get to know and understand the other person, we develop confidence, trust and total tolerance for their imperfections. We can remain loyal to them through good and bad times, we can live in the present, plan for the future and let go of the past. We can accept and respect our similarities and differences, we can let them be separate from us and not control or possess them.

Our ability to love and be loved depends very much on our sense of self-worth or self-esteem. We can only truly love someone if we love and respect ourselves. How well do you know yourself, your thoughts and feelings, your emotional needs, your attitudes and values, your behaviour. Can you accept who you are, change the things you dislike and accept the things you can't change. Are you secure enough to be open and honest and to express the love you have inside you ? Learn to love both yourself and the other for, with love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you lack; without it nothing else will be enough.